(I hope this is ok, it was mentioned in class that this was a blog possibilty but I did not see it on the blog list)

A man is not a man unless he has a truck, a cowboy hat, wranglers, boots and a six pack of Bud. Always keep a bottle opener in your back pocket, if you forget it make sure your hands are strong enough to twist off the bottle cap. Make sure the oven is always preset on 350, biscuits, bacon and sausage, brown just right. DO NOT BURN! Tailgate foods at the ready; make sure you have a steady supply. Wash the jeans, make sure you leave a little mud on the pant legs, a man always needs to look like he’s been working, don’t make the whites too white or the colors too bright. Always have something in the oven, a woman should bake and have food ready at a seconds notice. Don’t get taken in by fancy cars and diamond rings, the man you want works the land for his money and will take care of you at all costs. Don’t settle for a Chevy; keep your eyes on the Ford. Kenny Chesney is a jerk, Willie Nelson is a lover and Toby Keith is a sex god. Music isn’t music unless it has a guitar and the singer has a southern twang. Make sure you got a healthy appetite and you’re not too thin, a man doesn’t want chicken legs, unless they’re for eating. Have a small town attitude with big city dreams. Church on Sunday’s, chili cook-off’s every Jan., trips to Tennessee in the summer, own some plaid girl for heaven’s sake and a big buckled belt or two. Roundup on Friday nights, its right, right, left, left, back, turn, hit up that two step, time your turn for Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy, watch where you throw your lasso. Don’t be afraid to ride the bull, it’s a necessary thrill. Be kind to your elders, don’t talk back, and respect your grandma and God, and good grief sweep that floor right, at least twice a day, you know the sort of dirt that gets trekked into the house at moment’s notice. Don’t wait too long for children and try for two or more, get yourself a hound dog and a shotgun, leave yourself protected. And if that boy your dating is acting a fool, you give him your two sense and threaten his truck, he’ll shape up. But most of all love, love and let live, give your heart and don’t be afraid to lose it. Hurt is a part of life.  This is how you light a fire, fry a turkey and make beer can chicken. This is how you get a nice southern fry, heat the oil, bread the chicken, pour in the Tabasco, we like it hot.  The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and in the cooler. Corona is a poor man’s Budweiser; don’t bring that filth in the house. This is how you drive a stick shift and maneuver a tractor, make sure it’s a Deer. This is how you hook a catfish, this is how you got it, girl don’t you dare serve that fish without a proper fry and collard greens. These are the lyrics to Free Bird, these are the appropriate karaoke songs- Pasty Klein, Reba, Shania and Leanne- and here I come. Jimmy Buffet is your brother. God.Country. Family. Our boys go to war and fight the right fight and you just make sure you send your care packages as often as you can. Most importantly, Sundays are for football, food at the ready! And it’s five o-clock somewhere.